Blog Challenge Week 1

This is the Blog Challenge for this week: If you can dream it you can achieve it!!!
I want you to paint me a word picture. Pretend today is not today. You are not nervous, or overwhelmed or apprehensive or excited about the next 12 weeks. You are none of those things because you have LIVED it! You are at the finish line!
Maybe today is the day you run city 2 surf! Maybe it is the finale party. Maybe you are at the final workout. Maybe you are standing up there on the stage with Mish - a WINNER this round.
Paint me the picture. What are you feeling? What are you wearing? What can you do?
What have been your greatest achievements? Your biggest challenges?
How do you feel inside?? Just how excited ARE you???
Before you achieve it - you have to dream it. Put those dreams down. Make them real.
The more specific your dreams the closer you are to making them a reality


August 14th


I'm standing on sand again, tears streaming down my face, but its very different to the last time I did that. This time I'm in a different state, I'm away from everything, yet closer to everyone than ever before. I'm standing on Australia's most famous beach, Bondi, with a medal around my neck. I just finished the City to Surf, all 14km of it, Heartbreak Hill and everything. And I smashed last years time by a huge 20 mins, I ran the whole way, I believed this year, I knew what to expect and it happened, just like I dreamed. At the finish line it hit, I'd achieved it. Once again I came away from my safety net of 'home' and did it with friends, together, the emotion of the honesty and integrity I'd worked with for the last 12 weeks was all worth it. The worry of scheduling, uni graduations and starting honours and living by myself are all past worries.


I felt free running along today, nothing was going to touch me, my legs were strong and steady, I was prepared, I'd done the training all 12 weeks of it. My running has improved so much since I started focusing on core work and strength training, making core work a focus has meant my carer work has become easier and my energy is through the roof.


Best of all I am feeling free, happy in my skin, alive with the knowledge I dont need to make choices anymore, I have habits to rely on. i'm more self aware now, I know when I need to take time away, like now to stop, find a beach, touch a rock, smell the air, to breathe and cry and find me again. 


I've even stopped to conquer some of the bigger demons in my past, I went and saw my new counsellor again, I took the leap to fulfill my promise to give it at least one try. She worked out great, the right professional caring, non judgemental voice I needed to help me find the path when my voice was shouting to loud for me to think clearly. With her help I've taken  full control of the way the past now affects me. I know my triggers and know how to handle those moments when it gets to much, which starts with an inner dialogue asking why I've been overwhelmed and ends with, I deserve this, I am kind to myself and I can be gentle with my hurts. 


LATER IN THE DAY....


The City to Surf after party was amazing! I was wearing my size 8 jeans and Espirt green shirt, with an awesome pair of short boots, I was mixing with friends having an amazing time, I was out of my comfort zone but I was loving every minute of it. 


I felt even more amazing seeing as I had lost 15kgs this round, I was no longer Mel the girl who was living in a deep dark depressed hole. I was Mel the girl who had believed and achieved. Who had a dream and followed through, who was in the game, who knew how to take time out for herself, who trusted the help she had around, who honoured herself enough to ask for help when it was needed, who believed she was worthy to take each step of the journey as it came. I am that Mel, I have changed and I have an never going to lose this feeling. I'm on top of the world (or at least on top of Heartbreak Hill).


Best of all this year I wasn't alone, even though Nan wasn't with me this year I know she was there in spirit, watching me run, helping me to breathe and believe, she's proud of me always and forever.


Mel